Well this new year is starting out with a bang! This is a recap.
Wednesday I woke up early, got the kids all feed, took the dog out, and had to chase the cat down (it's very cold here). Got myself cleaned up, hubby was up banging around the house, and then we started to jump into preparation for taxes.
Hubby's taxes are a breeze, mine however are a nightmare to do, as I run a small business out of the house. The cool thing is I only have to file these once a year not quarterly, under my personal taxes. So, being the somewhat organized girl I've become, trust me this definitely wasn't so 4 years ago, I've learned to separate all of my expenses into categories. It also helps using a software designed to keep track of my expenditures over the whole year.
This isn't a lot of fun, but it is interesting, as I see how much we spend on different things from year to year, what has increased, what could be outta control and so on... and this is just a time consuming process, adding everything up, double checking figures, all this before I even start to file - WHEW!!! Bet your exhausted just listening to this dribble.
So onward and upward. Finally in the afternoon I ran out to take care of a few errands, called a couple of the girls to see who was coming to the 14th Annual N.U.T.S. Study Group, stopped to pickup dinner, ran home ate (inhaled more likely) dinner, talked to the girls some more to coordinate who's meeting when and where, worked on the tax prep some more, cleaned up and was ready to walk out the door when "D" called.
"D" is one of my sponsees and she was going to meet at my house then up north to the meeting we would go. However she calls and says "Kimmie I can't get to your street the cops have the entrance blocked." Huh?! Cops have our street blocked? "Yeah, I'm at yadda yadda, I'll see if they'll let me through." OK. How about I walk to the top of the street and just meet you there? "D" replies "That would work."
So I get of the phone and tell hubby cops have the street blocked off, and I'm gonna walk up and meet "D". He says "COPS, cool maybe there's a dead body, a decapitated head (he is joking) - wait I'll drive you up!" Yes, I love him but he's still a very, very sick man, and acts like a 4 year old at heart. So we hop in the car, "D" is waiting, I kiss hubby and are on our way. The main street outside of my neighborhood is blocked off traveling north, but I can't see what's the matter.
"D" and I head out for the meeting and we get to do one of my favorite things on a road trip. The meeting before the meeting, and the meeting after the meeting. We had a very good conversation, with lots of experience, strength and hope passed back and forth (can't say more it was sponsor/sponsee stuff).
The meeting was excellent. N.U.T.S. - Not Using The Steps, was started 14 years ago by a man named Harmon V. His sponsor had taken him to hear Charlie (from Joe & Charlie tapes) at a seminar. Harmon was so moved, and wanted to keep learning he talked to Charlie about it. Charlie told him, "You have a responsibility." So, Harmon with the help of others started N.U.T.S. We received a wealth of information last night, and I know it didn't all stick, that's why I'm a repeater. Though I'm not alone, almost the entire original starting members still attend every year, Harmon calls us the really sick ones.
Last night he briefly explained to us exactly what the Big Book is to us, and what it is not, and that he will cover this more in depth as we move along. He will displace a lot of the myths and false knowledge that has sprung up in the fellowship. He says he is not a teacher, but a student and is passing on what he has learned. He had some statistics, and facts, and I am going to need a tape recorder because I just can't write that fast. I've known Harmon for a short time, and the first thing I remember about him was that he talked as fast as my brain worked, which is pretty scary on so many different levels, but I really get him.
He then turned the floor over to Gail, who works with Archives, and she gave us a brief summary on the history of "Alcoholics Anonymous". If any of you ever visit from another country, please make sure to stop at the Archives Office in Akron, OH. There, they have every single Big Book printed in the language of that particular country with the country's flag on it. And these visitors are asked to sign the book from their country. I thought this was very cool, we have reached across so far, to so many, and spread light and joy where there was only darkness.
The meeting lasted about an hour and half and will meet every Wednesday from January to May. We will cover the first 164 pages in great detail again, I brought in tow some of the girls because we wanted to share this experience with others, and they are looking forward to more they really enjoyed last night.
I included this link and I hope you enjoy: http://www.akronaaarchives.org/mtWords.htm
Lastly, when we got home the power was out. He said someone took out not one, but two power poles, and that's all he knew. The stretch of road it happened on is a big curve, and with the snow it was most likely slick. Hopefully no one was hurt, so please say a quick prayer for them.
Hubby said it went off shortly after we left, he was concerned, but not panicked. I say this because the parrots need to stay warm, they shouldn't be exposed to long term temps under 68 degrees. The house was around 66 when I got home, so we lit some more candles, pulled all the comforters we had, put two of them in their cages and covered them to keep'em warm. We got ready for bed, and my baby Tretoe got to sleep with me. He used to do this all the time, but the dander from his feathers really makes my allergies bad. So I have had to stop doing this, but last night I needed to keep him warm so off we went.
This is what happens, I snuggle into bed, with a pillow against my body, he sits on top of the pillow and curls right against my neck. He then chortles, gurgles, makes dripping sounds for about two minutes, snuggles in even closer, nibbles my ear, and then finally falls asleep. It's very cute, and he is the most thankful animal I have ever met, and we fell back into this routine last night like we had never quit - ha ha! He makes me smile just thinking about his cute, feathered butt! Well, we both were just on the verge of unconsciousness when - *POP* the lights came back on. So I got back up, turned everything off, and then we went through our routine again, where we both finally drifted off to sleep.
This morning they all decided to make noise at 8 am, we didn't get to bed till real late (after 2 am), so I was up and moving, got them all feed, watered, and out on poop patrol. Here I sit and write real quick, I've got severe sleepy face and am nursing this cup of coffee - thank God for java! I have some cleaning to do around the house. Then I have the privilege of lead ing tonight for a friend, and for another friend on Sunday afternoon.
I will leave you with this one last item I heard last night. There are a lot of "we, they, our" in the Big Book, I found one page (36 B.B.) that goes overboard with "I", but there is a reason for that - you can read it for yourself. Generally at meetings we open with the "Serenity Prayer", this is how our group conscious has chosen to say it:
God,
grant us the serenity,
to accept the things we cannot change,
the courage to change the things we can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen
Have a great day!
Love,
Kimberly
Showing posts with label Big Book. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Book. Show all posts
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Reflecting...
Well, I hope all had a good Christmas, and as we get closer to the end of another year I find my self reflecting, pondering, and sometimes wondering - what was I thinking?! - occurred this past year.
This year seemed to fly by, faster then usual, at least it seemed that way to me. I can remember certain details so vividly in life, and others have succumbed to the memory monster. It amazes me that I can not remember what I ate for dinner last night, but can remember my first meeting back in this area 3 years ago.
I remember walking up to the church, the large gathering of people, all joking, laughing and smiling. What stands out the most, was the group of women, all standing together in a row. Twos and threes in serious discussion, or just talking about nothing of importance, they weren't standing in a row on purpose, that's just the way it was. I remember walking up and seeing this very tall, very beautiful women. I remember she gave off a slight vibe of intimidation, the feeling of you can't lie to me because I can smell your B.S. from here. It made me chuckle, because I used to give off that intimidation vibe very strongly, and I'm sure I still do but to a much smaller extent.
Anyway, she was talking with two other women, and I walked up to all three, stuck out my hand and introduced myself. I remember how happy, and giddy I felt. I was back at home in another meeting half way across the country from where I had started my new journey. There must have been at least 12 women there, and double the men. All of them were at different spots in their journey, some just starting, others very far along.
Like everything else in my life, I had no idea what God had in store for me. That tall blond and her husband have become very important people in my life and many others. We laugh today about our vibe, and have put other women in our lives that have softer edges, so we can learn what that's like. I guess I should explain this a little better?!
J and I are very much alike in many ways. We both ended up doing, saying and being in places we said we never would. We both became very intimidating. I still remember never being afraid to attack anyone, man or woman, the bigger the better. My tiny little 5'4" inch frame that weighed 120 lbs, had and would go after some guy built like a linebacker for Greenbay. I know today that it was fear that drove me, but back then NEVER - I'll show you what to fear, was my thinking. Well, with an attitude like that you can just imagine I was in places and with people that probably should, and could have killed me. Then I started this new journey with us (AA). We walked, and talked, cried and laughed, we still do it today.
The women in a line that day, all but 2 or 3, have and are still in each others lives. We have become good, honest friends. They have saved my butt on more than one occasion, when my mind wouldn't quiet, or I didn't know what to do next. They have helped keep me sober for one more day so many times. We have studied the text of Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 & 12, we have done 12 Step calls, we have become active inside and outside the rooms of fellowship, we have learned the history of AA and what it means to us, we have been there for each other and others, we continue to carry the message to those who are ready. We have worked on our defects of character, and find those around us we want to be like, we still have that willingness and passion for this program, and we are still learning more each day.
They told me there was great growth for me this year, and of course, I only see a little, but I do feel some change. I'm just now starting to realize what my personal principles are, what I do like and what I do just to please others. I am finding the little girl within me that I thought I had lost so long ago, the one I thought I'd killed with my disease. But she's not dead, never was, she was just playing hide and seek until she knew I was ready. Shes not a striking beauty, but she's a cute, happy, loving person, who just wants to share that love and happiness with others. It's so good to see her again. I realized just how many people this last year God has put in my path, for various reasons, and we all care about each other very much. Men and women, and they are all true friends - what a weird, wonderful feeling - to know that we are here for each other, and would do almost anything to help.
Thank you:
For letting us know we are never alone God
For the true friendships we have today
For the release from bondage, even when we take it back
For all the people you have put in our path
For teaching us how to use the gifts you've given us of Hope, Love, Honesty, Purity and Unselfishness, and so much more
For Your Undeserved Mercy
For another day
We can not become what we want to be by remaining what we are!
Love,
Kimberly
This year seemed to fly by, faster then usual, at least it seemed that way to me. I can remember certain details so vividly in life, and others have succumbed to the memory monster. It amazes me that I can not remember what I ate for dinner last night, but can remember my first meeting back in this area 3 years ago.
I remember walking up to the church, the large gathering of people, all joking, laughing and smiling. What stands out the most, was the group of women, all standing together in a row. Twos and threes in serious discussion, or just talking about nothing of importance, they weren't standing in a row on purpose, that's just the way it was. I remember walking up and seeing this very tall, very beautiful women. I remember she gave off a slight vibe of intimidation, the feeling of you can't lie to me because I can smell your B.S. from here. It made me chuckle, because I used to give off that intimidation vibe very strongly, and I'm sure I still do but to a much smaller extent.
Anyway, she was talking with two other women, and I walked up to all three, stuck out my hand and introduced myself. I remember how happy, and giddy I felt. I was back at home in another meeting half way across the country from where I had started my new journey. There must have been at least 12 women there, and double the men. All of them were at different spots in their journey, some just starting, others very far along.
Like everything else in my life, I had no idea what God had in store for me. That tall blond and her husband have become very important people in my life and many others. We laugh today about our vibe, and have put other women in our lives that have softer edges, so we can learn what that's like. I guess I should explain this a little better?!
J and I are very much alike in many ways. We both ended up doing, saying and being in places we said we never would. We both became very intimidating. I still remember never being afraid to attack anyone, man or woman, the bigger the better. My tiny little 5'4" inch frame that weighed 120 lbs, had and would go after some guy built like a linebacker for Greenbay. I know today that it was fear that drove me, but back then NEVER - I'll show you what to fear, was my thinking. Well, with an attitude like that you can just imagine I was in places and with people that probably should, and could have killed me. Then I started this new journey with us (AA). We walked, and talked, cried and laughed, we still do it today.
The women in a line that day, all but 2 or 3, have and are still in each others lives. We have become good, honest friends. They have saved my butt on more than one occasion, when my mind wouldn't quiet, or I didn't know what to do next. They have helped keep me sober for one more day so many times. We have studied the text of Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 & 12, we have done 12 Step calls, we have become active inside and outside the rooms of fellowship, we have learned the history of AA and what it means to us, we have been there for each other and others, we continue to carry the message to those who are ready. We have worked on our defects of character, and find those around us we want to be like, we still have that willingness and passion for this program, and we are still learning more each day.
They told me there was great growth for me this year, and of course, I only see a little, but I do feel some change. I'm just now starting to realize what my personal principles are, what I do like and what I do just to please others. I am finding the little girl within me that I thought I had lost so long ago, the one I thought I'd killed with my disease. But she's not dead, never was, she was just playing hide and seek until she knew I was ready. Shes not a striking beauty, but she's a cute, happy, loving person, who just wants to share that love and happiness with others. It's so good to see her again. I realized just how many people this last year God has put in my path, for various reasons, and we all care about each other very much. Men and women, and they are all true friends - what a weird, wonderful feeling - to know that we are here for each other, and would do almost anything to help.
Thank you:
For letting us know we are never alone God
For the true friendships we have today
For the release from bondage, even when we take it back
For all the people you have put in our path
For teaching us how to use the gifts you've given us of Hope, Love, Honesty, Purity and Unselfishness, and so much more
For Your Undeserved Mercy
For another day
We can not become what we want to be by remaining what we are!
Love,
Kimberly
Thursday, December 13, 2007
These Gifts...
I heard so many times when I became newly sober that we would receive wonderful gifts of sobriety, and promises would be fulfilled. (I believe (?) there are 164 promises made in the Big Book). So many of them have come true for me today. I am a recovered alcoholic and that recovery depends on my daily maintenance, and conscious contact of a God of my understanding. Maintenance being the key word!
maintenance: the act of maintaining: the means of support, the upkeep.
I need to do upkeep on my daily life, just like my car if I want to keep it running smooth and efficiently. But just like my car, I will occasionally have a hiccup, and need to go in for a tune up. That's where the fellowship comes in, reaching out to others, receiving and using suggestions that people have experienced and found in the Big Book. They help keep those hiccups away or at least guide me so I don't have to fall.
So now I'd like to go back to the promises. It has been a wonderful couple of days. I did my lead on Tuesday and God walked with me the whole way. A small group from my area came to surprise and support me, it was an awesome example in unselfishness. I also got to see some people I hadn't seen in while, and got to find out how they were doing. One man that I had met in his early sobriety was there, he said he was struggling, but we both agreed he was in the right place - at a meeting! I received wonderful feedback from my lead. Today, it's really cool that I can hear, and that I still remain teachable. I still want what I see in other peoples eyes, in their demeanors, and I know they got it from taking daily action in their sobriety.
Wednesday night I heard a lead from a wonderful man who does a lot for people in AA. He's very active, attends a lot of different meetings. Our paths cross a lot because we both do this. The joke between us is "I get around, but it's in a good way today!" He's a gentle soul, and like so many of us was committing a slow suicide. Today, we can help others, reach out to newcomers, have fun in sobriety, and lead by example. I thank God for placing him in my path.
Tonight the girls from my Spiritual Thursday nights came over for a food get together. It was awesome, I think I put on 5 lbs. just tonight. We had pasta salad, these awesome little quiches with avocado and cheese, and mushroom brie, sausage and peppers, meets and cheeses, broccoli salad, Japanese Nikujaga (potato style) soup, candy and really good sugar cookies. We shared wonderful company, jokes, and laughed, complained how tired we were, and that it was still OK. Ms. P made all of us girls Embroidered t-shirts with our group name and start date of the meeting - they are beautiful with an intricate cross. What a thoughtful and beautiful gift. The thing I loved most tonight was the laughter, and gentle and sometimes bawdy conversation that carried on through the evening. These women give me so much - hope, strength, guidance, love, understanding, laughter, peace, friendship - I feel like I'm about to burst with joy!
The promises laid out in the Big Book have and continue to come true for me everyday. If you had asked me 5 1/2 years ago what I wanted in sobriety, I would have ssoooo short changed myself. The blessings I have today are unfathomable, and more continue to appear the longer I actively maintain my sobriety.
Thank you, to all who have gone before me, to those who trudge along with me, and for the unknowns that will be revealed to me on this journey called life.
Blessings & Love,
Kimberly
maintenance: the act of maintaining: the means of support, the upkeep.
I need to do upkeep on my daily life, just like my car if I want to keep it running smooth and efficiently. But just like my car, I will occasionally have a hiccup, and need to go in for a tune up. That's where the fellowship comes in, reaching out to others, receiving and using suggestions that people have experienced and found in the Big Book. They help keep those hiccups away or at least guide me so I don't have to fall.
So now I'd like to go back to the promises. It has been a wonderful couple of days. I did my lead on Tuesday and God walked with me the whole way. A small group from my area came to surprise and support me, it was an awesome example in unselfishness. I also got to see some people I hadn't seen in while, and got to find out how they were doing. One man that I had met in his early sobriety was there, he said he was struggling, but we both agreed he was in the right place - at a meeting! I received wonderful feedback from my lead. Today, it's really cool that I can hear, and that I still remain teachable. I still want what I see in other peoples eyes, in their demeanors, and I know they got it from taking daily action in their sobriety.
Wednesday night I heard a lead from a wonderful man who does a lot for people in AA. He's very active, attends a lot of different meetings. Our paths cross a lot because we both do this. The joke between us is "I get around, but it's in a good way today!" He's a gentle soul, and like so many of us was committing a slow suicide. Today, we can help others, reach out to newcomers, have fun in sobriety, and lead by example. I thank God for placing him in my path.
Tonight the girls from my Spiritual Thursday nights came over for a food get together. It was awesome, I think I put on 5 lbs. just tonight. We had pasta salad, these awesome little quiches with avocado and cheese, and mushroom brie, sausage and peppers, meets and cheeses, broccoli salad, Japanese Nikujaga (potato style) soup, candy and really good sugar cookies. We shared wonderful company, jokes, and laughed, complained how tired we were, and that it was still OK. Ms. P made all of us girls Embroidered t-shirts with our group name and start date of the meeting - they are beautiful with an intricate cross. What a thoughtful and beautiful gift. The thing I loved most tonight was the laughter, and gentle and sometimes bawdy conversation that carried on through the evening. These women give me so much - hope, strength, guidance, love, understanding, laughter, peace, friendship - I feel like I'm about to burst with joy!
The promises laid out in the Big Book have and continue to come true for me everyday. If you had asked me 5 1/2 years ago what I wanted in sobriety, I would have ssoooo short changed myself. The blessings I have today are unfathomable, and more continue to appear the longer I actively maintain my sobriety.
Thank you, to all who have gone before me, to those who trudge along with me, and for the unknowns that will be revealed to me on this journey called life.
Blessings & Love,
Kimberly
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