Happy Christmas, Merry Birthday!

Happy Birthday
to Jesus, my mom, and her sister.

Merry Christmas
to ALL!

Have a loving, fun, blessed, grateful, joyful, noisy, peaceful, content, sober, active, restful, full, thankful, understanding, content, full of life and hopeful Christmas!

Love,
Kimberly

Thankful, Atmosphere, and more...

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.

If you appreciate life, share this with your friends, and even people you don't know.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings.
Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible.
Thank you, Lord , that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising.
Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud.
Thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines, and the menu is at times unbalanced.
Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous.
Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day, and wish my circumstances were not so modest.
Thank you, Lord, for life.

Pass this on if you choose. It might help to make this world a better place to live, right?

A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift. A friend is someone to treasure, and someone who fills our lives with Beauty, Joy and Grace and makes the world we live in a better and happier place.
Thank you Lord, for these gifts.

Atmosphere (Song title)

once I had a halo,
but then it caught on fire

once I knew a good man,
but he turned into a liar

once I saw a blind man
still looking for his eyes

once I met a bastard
who watched his father die

and now
I'll tell ya how
I know them all

I'm looking down on the atmosphere
I took my number and I waited in line

I'm not frail from the exposure
I'm taking pictures with my mind

once I met a leader
born from genocide

once I knew a preacher
to his faith he said goodbye

once I met a good girl
who shows her face no more

it's hard to learn your lesson
when you've become the whole worlds whore

and this is how
I know them all

looking down on the atmosphere
looking down on the atmosphere
I took my number and I waited in line

– Shinedown, "us and them"

I related to this song so much the first time I heard it, it reminds me of where I've been, and can return to if I don't actively apply my program. It also reminded me that I am never alone or unique.

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fufilled among us–sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." pg 83 & 84, AA

Thank you God for putting exactly what I need in my path everyday.

Blessings & Love,
Kimberly

Gifts from Pam & Sue

Morning! I hadn't read some of these tidbits, poems and stories in a while, but I remember who gave them to me. Pam (my sponsor from CA) sends me many words of encouragement and hope, I asked God and Most Caring are from her.

Beauty Regime was given to me by Bob R., Sue's husband. I meet them both in my Calif. AA meeting, they were a loving AA couple with many, many years of sobriety, and touched many, many lives. They both will always have a special place in my heart, here is why... Sue had an aneurysm in the morning meeting, it happened right in front of me. She grabbed my hand, sat down, and said she didn't feel well. Her face turned flushed, and she was sweating profusely. I tried to comfort her, and get her help, others called 911, and prayers started immediately. She looked me in the eye and said, "Please call Bob, tell him I love him, that I worry about him, but I know he knows the right thing to do." She passed out after that, and never woke again. Over the next couple of days there was tons of prayer, and sharing of how much she had given so much of us. I was given one last task by God and Sue, and that was to relay a message to Bob.

This all had happened on Friday, and I was leaving town Tuesday. No one could get a hold of him, and I patiently waited, worried I wouldn't be able to see him before I left to relay a last message. My husband told me not worry, he would relay the message if I could not, and so I accepted that. Monday morning Bob walked into the meeting with his family. It was a very heartfelt meeting, full of love, compassion, understanding and hope. Bob sat quietly with his kids and listened, at the end of the meeting he thanked everyone. I swallowed hard, and asked God to not let me cry until I relayed Sue last words, and God was there for us. As I approached Bob he took one look at me and said, "You were the one with her." "Yes, and she wanted you to know - "I love you, that I worry about you, but I know you know the right thing to do." He thanked me, and gave me the biggest bear hug, and tears rolled down are checks.

Two weeks later Bob gave me the poem Beauty Regime, he had been going through Sue's things. She had many poems from over the years, she was a school teacher, and he continued finding more in dressers, books, cupboards and such. He said this poem reminded him of Sue and me, and that it was one of her favorites kept on the dresser. I pass it out to woman still today, and thank Sue, Bob and God for the lesson I learned in early sobriety about hope, love, compassion, accountability, and reaching out to others.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Blessings & Love,
Kimberly

I ASKED GOD...

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve...

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things...

I was given sickness, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy...

I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men...

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life...

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am among all men, most richly blessed!


BEAUTY REGIME

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

MOST CARING

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.

Father, God bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as they seek to have a closer relationship with you. Amen.

Weird, but good day

I haven't been writing lately, but that's OK, just been busy. Yesterday was a good day, but I was in a weird mood. One minute really happy, the next mad, then crazy, depressed, and round and round it went. This damn brain is trying to kill me, it just won't quiet itself. As a good friend of mine says, "The itty, bitty, shitty committee is working overtime". Did tons of praying and meditating to God for guidance.

Met with (P) yesterday, she's gone through the same thing I am going through right now. God puts the right people in my path and helps me every time. Things with hubby are at a stand still. I've finally realized that all I can do is pray for him, be kind to him, do what I do on a daily basis to stay sober, and hope that my example helps. He's in God's hands right now, and that's right where he needs to be.

Last night when my brain wouldn't shut off, I lay there in the dark, and thought of this, please be kind, I'm not a writer.

Miss you...

I miss your kiss, and the strong arms that hold me,
I miss your warm breath on my neck, and your gentle whisper in my ear,
I miss your strong hands, that could lift, and hold me,
I miss your funny stories, as we lay spent in bed.

I miss the way you would go out, and help others,
I miss the way you would sit with them in thought,
I miss the way you could entertain others,
I miss the way you would do this, as we all sat, and had brunch.

I don't know where you've gone, but I understand why,
I don't know why it's happening, but I can't question God,
I don't know what's going to happen, that's up to you and God,
I don't know when it's happening, but we'll be here if you should fall.

– Kimberly

I asked (P) to be my new sponsor, she knew it was coming (the look on her face was really cute). Her and I are so alike in a lot of ways. She laughed, and said "yes", she told me "You're low maintenance", boy is that something that's changed in my life, I was always a high maintenance pain in the ass for so long. I'm really excited about this new step in life, my old sponsor and I will still keep in touch, but every year, it was getting harder for both of us (she's in California & I'm now in Ohio).

Anyway, my sponsor, said I'm doing most of the right stuff in regards to hubby, and gave me some suggestions I hadn't thought of, or heard from others. She said it was really good I was reaching out to others, instead of carrying this burden alone. I'm working to stay out of self pity, and keep on a positive upswing; praying, meditating, working with others, applying the steps to all my life, setting an example, and repeat and rinse! Ha Ha! But sometimes, the pity creeps back in, I wallow for awhile, then move on, and tell God to handle it, cuz I sure can't! This always snaps me out of it pretty quick, sorta like the 2X4 God applies to my head when I'm really dense.

Enough from me today. I'm looking forward to this evenings meeting. A real good friend of mine from out of the meetings area is leading tonight. He has an awesome message, he's very ornery (as sure as God made little green apples), and lights up the room as soon as he enters. The twinkle in his eyes is what attracted me the most to him, I wanted what he had! He's very humorous in his lead, but has that very serious undertone of what this (AA program) is all about, and how it saved his life. I can't wait to see him, and thank God for putting him in my path! I attend a lot of different meetings, in different counties, and have met a lot of wonderful people. The group is in for a real treat tonight!

Blessings & Love,
Kimberly