Thursday, January 17, 2008

A.A. Bullshit Bingo

I am so tired of hearing the phrase don't drink and go to meetings!

This will get a real alcoholic KILLED! Trust me, I see them die a lot. I was glad no one said this to me when I walked into my first meeting. Alcohol was my solution, and when that was gone I was miserable and stuck in the problem. Thank you God, that my first meeting was an "A.A. Big Book Study" group. I was told a new way of life (a solution) was to be found in this basic text. AND IT WAS - WAHOO!

Program of Alcoholics Anonymous is the text book of AA, it is referred to as; the literature (in the prefaces), the Big Book, and the blue book. It is the only Program for a real alcoholic who suffers from a hopeless state of mind and body. The Fellowship "Something Similar" is just that, Fellowship; definition is: companionship, a group of people with common interest.

A newcomer that walks in our door has no idea what A.A. is, I know I didn't. So if you are telling them to just come to meetings and not drink, without giving them a solution, which is the A.A. Program (The Big Book), you are leaving them in the problem, and eventually they will turn to the only solution that worked for them - WHICH WAS TO DRINK, and eventually they will die if they are a real alcoholic.

Now on to BULLSHIT BINGO! (artwork included above) I heard of this last year, and didn't get all the catch phrases down, and yadda, yadda, bunch of excuses, but I made sure to look for it online. Low and behold, Danny S. Recovered Alcoholic at Frunobulax 57 ( had it in his archives. So if you are a recovered alcoholic, and use the Program you will get this game, if not, it is more likely to piss you off. Which in reality could be a good thing for you.

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings? What about those long and boring using stories?? Get tired of the same old sloganeering, psychobabble and never ending Treatment Center ideas having NOTHING to do with the AA Program detailed in the Big Book? Or how about members who continue to deal with the same problems, same defects, and same painful relationships FOR YEARS?

Here's a way to change all that...

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following word/phrases in each block:

• Issues
• Inner-child

• Living Amends
• Meaningful Relationship

• Didn't Mean to Use
• I'm Stuck On Step ____
• Couldn't Find A Meeting
• My Sponsor Has Been Out Of Town

• Can't change
• Won't change

• Yeah But
• Oh, The Pain

• But.... Don't you think
• Misunderstood

• Never
• Rational

• Recovery
• Recovering Person

• Searching
(as in, "for answers")
• Gonna
(sometimes prefaced with, "I'm")
• Been thinking
(prefaced with, "I've")
• she/he said,

• "I know what it is I need to do but..."

• Dysfunctional

• I heard

• Rage

• I don't know much about this, but...

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words or phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"


--"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."

Adam W., Atlanta

--"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

David T., Tampa

--"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."

Dan J., NY City

--"The atmosphere was tense in the last "Gratitude" meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box. "

Ben G., Denver

--"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed out "BULLSHIT" for the third time in 20 minutes."
Carnie Joe, Miami

Play "AA Bullshit Bingo" at your next meeting!


Gledwood said...

Fascinating post. "Boring using stories?" get real! I find the most BORING (NA) shares those ones about "I'm so happy and I'm getting my fridge repaired and I'm so excited about it"... nasty business. It's the talks where people remember where they came from and why they're there that keep ME rivetted. Especially not a certain local woman who prattles about her "higher power" as if it's her personal stringpuppet. I only think she uses the expression so much to mystify everyone else and appear spiritually superior...

... hang on i can see an intriguing (headless) goldengreen bird right in the corner of your blog... how fascinating! who's bird is it I wonder? yours... i'd have loved a parrot, even a badass parrot but they live till about 250 and you cannot take most animals in and out of Britain without nasty 6 months quarantine... and I've never intended to stay put in this country...

Gledwood said...

o! I see the bird full-on now... what a nutter of a parrot

... or more "papejay" as Chaucer would have it...

dirtydishes said...

I don't know much about this but...........Oh, can't you just hear "J" saying "Then why don't you shut-up?" Wow I'm guilty of quite a few of those. Thanks for the heads up, can't wait to play. Love, Patty

flowerdave said...

Bullshit Bingo, I love it, I hope I dont have to yell bingo while I'm speaking.
peace babe

indistinct said...

That made me laugh out loud. What a gift.

I could just imagine my puzzled expression when someone would shout "bullshit" while I was sharing.

Shadow said...

alcoholism is usually part of another problem. they need to be identified and worked on together.

msb said...

It seems a bit juvenile, but then again I guess the rooms of AA aren't filled with rock scientists. I always heard that a person could never be to dumb to get this program but there are those that miss it because they are to smart. :+O

Danny S said...

Kim, I'm "stealing" the card! LOL Thanks. That's great.



Danny S

Tchitchile said...

AA has been royally on my nerves for its supposed sanctity ( as well as final solution )for every problem-drinker on earth...HMMMMM...vast program indeed ! If you don't behave like a robot , using the exact required language and being darn close to perfect , you become an outcast.
It's very tiring to be a saint , and boring too . With this little game , I'm sure I'll make many friends !

Robin said...

Part of growing spiritually is not caring what other people think of you.(including oldtimers). If a higher power has control of your life you can never be an outcast.

Part of the program for me is listening to people at meetings and noticing how I react within myself. Am I intolerant? irritated? this is my irritation my reaction to what is being heard.

One of the most important things about AA is to use your self knowledge to help others.

Steve Meyers said...

see, this the reason youre fucked up and the big book is the bullshit. All your program shit did to you was make you judge people and mick them out, and waste your time going to meeting by not listening and pkaying this drunk game. Big book people are the angriest, most judgemental people in the place. Why dont you shut the fuck up and go help someone and you might get sober. Ive got 20 years and read that book, but it didnt get me sober, nor anyone else. You got a life? No, you are a time waster laughing at people thinking youre better than them. youre a typical big book bullshitter. Get a real life.

Steve Meyers said...

Peace? What she wrote us mocking and anger and hate. You too.