What the future holds?

I'm trying to stay out of self pity, trying to stay out of pain, my heart is torn in two as I wait to see what happens. I know I'm never alone, and it brings me comfort at the most painful of times. The friends I have help me along the way, they don't understand completely, but that's okay. I'm just glad they are here, that I can reach out to them and get out of myself.

Last night was New Years and instead of sitting home with my crazy thoughts, I went to an AA dinner/dance . It helped me again stay out of me. Someone I've known for a short time asked me to sponsor her, and I'm very excited to travel part of this journey together.

It's a new year and I can't believe how crazy busy I'm going to be with life, the calendar is filling up everyday, and I thank God for every minute. I've made commitments not only to myself, but to others, and today I can follow through on them. I've decided that it might be a good idea to go back to work. I need to keep living, I need to continue being willing, I need to continue to grow. If I can't do this for myself, I can't do it for others. Sort of like when I really understood what the word love meant. My how things have changed.

So what does the future hold? I don't know, and today I don't really want to know. I'm content in that I have what matters to the heart most in my life. Nothing material, or financial can replace that which is in my heart and which I hold most dearly.

"Yea seek, and yea shall find." So I continue to seek, because if I had told you where and what I'd be doing today, I would have short changed my life severely. And no matter how painful life can be at times it is short lived by the joy I get today in return.

Love,
Kimberly