Religion is for people afraid of going to hell, Spirituality is for those who have been there.

A friend of mine in the AA program told me that when I first became sober. It really made sense to me to, for the longest time I didn't need God, I thought, "Don't worry about it big guy, I can handle this, I don't need you." I was playing god, and did a piss poor job at it, every good idea I had ended in failure, misery or trouble. I went to Hell, and came back thanks to a loving God I understand today.

I'm an alcoholic, and by nature I want to run the show completely, I was the master of my own destiny, but I started seeing God working in my life and the lives of others who believed and turned their will over to His care. "When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked for them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly." pg. 52-53 of Alcoholics Anonymous. I trusted, that when I turned on a faucet, there would be running water, why couldn't I do the same with God?

So, I started listening and praying to God, and I started seeing Him in everything. I found that the more dependence I have on God, the more free I am. Today, I can see the beautiful forest, instead of that one ugly tree. Today, I can turn my Will over to a God, as I understand Him, and do His will for me.

That doesn't mean I don't take it back once in a while, but today I know when I'm NOT doing His will, because none of my great ideas work. My God saved me, he forgave me, and as long as I continue to honestly seek Him out He will come to me.

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?

page 53, We Agnostics, Alcoholics Anonymous