Weird, but good day

I haven't been writing lately, but that's OK, just been busy. Yesterday was a good day, but I was in a weird mood. One minute really happy, the next mad, then crazy, depressed, and round and round it went. This damn brain is trying to kill me, it just won't quiet itself. As a good friend of mine says, "The itty, bitty, shitty committee is working overtime". Did tons of praying and meditating to God for guidance.

Met with (P) yesterday, she's gone through the same thing I am going through right now. God puts the right people in my path and helps me every time. Things with hubby are at a stand still. I've finally realized that all I can do is pray for him, be kind to him, do what I do on a daily basis to stay sober, and hope that my example helps. He's in God's hands right now, and that's right where he needs to be.

Last night when my brain wouldn't shut off, I lay there in the dark, and thought of this, please be kind, I'm not a writer.

Miss you...

I miss your kiss, and the strong arms that hold me,
I miss your warm breath on my neck, and your gentle whisper in my ear,
I miss your strong hands, that could lift, and hold me,
I miss your funny stories, as we lay spent in bed.

I miss the way you would go out, and help others,
I miss the way you would sit with them in thought,
I miss the way you could entertain others,
I miss the way you would do this, as we all sat, and had brunch.

I don't know where you've gone, but I understand why,
I don't know why it's happening, but I can't question God,
I don't know what's going to happen, that's up to you and God,
I don't know when it's happening, but we'll be here if you should fall.

– Kimberly

I asked (P) to be my new sponsor, she knew it was coming (the look on her face was really cute). Her and I are so alike in a lot of ways. She laughed, and said "yes", she told me "You're low maintenance", boy is that something that's changed in my life, I was always a high maintenance pain in the ass for so long. I'm really excited about this new step in life, my old sponsor and I will still keep in touch, but every year, it was getting harder for both of us (she's in California & I'm now in Ohio).

Anyway, my sponsor, said I'm doing most of the right stuff in regards to hubby, and gave me some suggestions I hadn't thought of, or heard from others. She said it was really good I was reaching out to others, instead of carrying this burden alone. I'm working to stay out of self pity, and keep on a positive upswing; praying, meditating, working with others, applying the steps to all my life, setting an example, and repeat and rinse! Ha Ha! But sometimes, the pity creeps back in, I wallow for awhile, then move on, and tell God to handle it, cuz I sure can't! This always snaps me out of it pretty quick, sorta like the 2X4 God applies to my head when I'm really dense.

Enough from me today. I'm looking forward to this evenings meeting. A real good friend of mine from out of the meetings area is leading tonight. He has an awesome message, he's very ornery (as sure as God made little green apples), and lights up the room as soon as he enters. The twinkle in his eyes is what attracted me the most to him, I wanted what he had! He's very humorous in his lead, but has that very serious undertone of what this (AA program) is all about, and how it saved his life. I can't wait to see him, and thank God for putting him in my path! I attend a lot of different meetings, in different counties, and have met a lot of wonderful people. The group is in for a real treat tonight!

Blessings & Love,
Kimberly